[ bell rings ]
♪ At the park or at the beach ♪
♪ At home or on tv ♪
♪ Nothing could go wrong when you're with me ♪
♪ Catch a ride or catch a wave ♪
♪ At home or in l.a. ♪
♪ Nothing could go wrong when you're with me ♪
♪ When you're with me ♪
♪ Baby, baby, close your eyes ♪
♪ Baby, baby, don't think twice ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ Baby, baby, close your eyes ♪
♪ Baby, baby, don't think twice ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ Baby, baby, close your eyes ♪
♪ Baby, baby, don't think twice ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ I want you, want you, want you, want you ♪
Peter: good morning.
Ms. ghetty: who are you?
Peter: uh, peter hammer, ma'am.
Ms. ghetty: you're 37 minutes late.
Oh, yes.
The mid-semester transfer from alhambra high.
I was told by our principal that you were going
to usc on a scholarship.
Peter: uh, yes, ma'am. Biology grant.
Ms. ghetty: nice of you to pay us a visit
on your way to fancy academia land.
This is the communications elective.
Natalia: more like
the "all other sections were filled," leftover elective.
Ms. ghetty: be quiet, natalia.
Peter: am I in the wrong class?
Ms. ghetty: you're in the right class.
Take a seat and come see me after class.
The rest of you, I want ten examples
of advertising gimmicks from the 1950s,
and I'm gonna collect these first thing tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna check out the handouts.
No funny business while I'm gone.
[ door closes ]
sam: what?
Peter: what?
[ chuckles ]
thanks for the sweet table -- nice table.
That was sweet of you.
Sam: sweet.
Last time someone called me sweet was...
Probably never.
Peter: sweet, nice.
It's -- it's the same thing. Yeah.
Sam: hey, it takes guts
transferring mid-semester senior year.
I respect that.
Peter: it's not like I had a choice.
Sam: oh. parents?
Forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Natalia: psst.
I'm trying to focus here.
Sam: she's the parasite queen.
A perfect, plastic barbie
who wears her dad's credit cards as earrings
and has pretty designer clothing on all the time.
Peter: like, uh, paris hilton?
Sam: mm, I'm gonna say it. I actually like paris hilton.
-peter: what? -sam: yeah.
I mean, she sued the guy for making the sex tape
and then donated all the money to environmental causes.
Peter: saving the world one sex tape at a time?
Sam: [ laughs ]
natalia: I think he's hot.
I said I think he's hot --
in, like, an "i don't know what's going on" kind of way.
Jill: he's gonna be a usc nerd, for crying out loud.
Natalia: a hot usc nerd.
Get into it, jill.
Tiffany: totally a hot nerd.
Jennifer: nerds are in, jill. Get into it.
Jill: you're literally just repeating what she said.
Jennifer: ew. desperate.
Jill: he obviously wants you back.
So sad.
Natalia: some people are just stuck in last season.
I, however, am all about the future.
Peter: hello?
Ms. ghetty: who do you think you are, looking through my things?
Peter: um, uh, s-sorry. It was -- it was an accident.
Ms. ghetty: you were an accident.
I don't know what kind of glorified day care
you came from, but here at kennedy,
we come to class on time, understood?
Peter: uh, yes, ma'am. My apologies.
Ms. ghetty: don't "yes, ma'am" me.
I disdain brownnosers.
I own you for the rest of the year,
and just like the rest of the class,
you owe me a senior project.
Peter: uh, yes, ma'am -- uh, ms. ghetty.
Ms. ghetty: so, think of a topic --
something spectacular -- and a title.
Topics are due friday. Get out.
Andy!
Get in here!
Peter: pbht.
Andy: hi.
Peter: hi.
Andy: hi.
I'm andy.
-peter: I'm -- -andy: peter hammer.
Yeah, the transfer from alhambra high.
-we're in the same comm class. -peter: oh.
Andy: ooh, are you here working on your senior project?
Peter: yeah.
Andy: ohh. Senior-project blues, huh?
Peter: yeah, I'm completely screwed.
Andy: oh, no.
So, what did you do to get ms. ghetty?
Peter: I didn't do anything. She was assigned to me.
Andy: if you don't want me to say anything, I won't, all right?
But -- but, like, listen, man. You're going to usc.
You on academic suspension or something?
Drugs?
Meth.
M-- you --
do you chase the white tiger?
Peter: do I look like I do meth to you?
Actually, wait. Don't answer that.
Ms. -- ms. ghetty is weird.
Andy: yo, it's -- it's nat-- it's natalia. you see her?
[ clears throat ]
hey, natalia.
Natalia: [ chuckles ] what do you want, andy?
Oh! Hey, new guy.
Peter: oh. hello. Hi, I'm peter.
Andy: peter.
Natalia: what do you think I should get my dad?
Prada or l.v.?
Andy: nah, see, me, I would --
natalia: no, not you, andy.
Peter: oh, um --
andy: yeah, you should...
Peter: I don't really know. I don't shop much.
Jill: you don't? [ scoffs ]
peter: i-i don't buy stuff.
People buy stuff for me,
but good luck shopping for your dad.
Natalia: thanks.
That was hot. [ laughs ]
jennifer: he's a badass.
Natalia: um, seriously.
Jill: I like andy.
Natalia: jill, just do your copies.
...point of homework?
It's, like, I'm home, why am I working?
So strange.
Tiffany: seriously.
It's her, it's her.
Natalia: jilly bear.
I need you to do me a favor.
Jill: of course, anything.
Natalia: I need you to get intel on the hot new guy.
I want to know what he likes, what he doesn't like,
where he lives, anything else you can find out.
Jill: so you want me to go undercover?
Natalia: yes.
Like "21 jump street."
Jill: cool!
[ chuckles ]
natalia: okay.
Bye.
Jill: bye.
Oh. okay. Bye, natalia.
Spencer: hey, natalia.
Isn't espionage a little tacky for you?
You know, pretending to have new friends and all?
Natalia: [ chuckles ] okay.
You're one to talk about pretending, spencer.
Natalia: you're the one who pretending to be my boyfriend
before coming out as gay.
Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?
Spencer: how is that embarrassing for you?
Natalia: [ scoffs ]
andy: so, uh...
You live around here?
Peter: yeah, nearby.
Andy: ah, like most of us. That's cool.
Hey, by any chance, do you want cookies, 'cause --
so, uh, how far are you walking today?
-peter: sam! -sam: whoa!
Andy: what the hell?
Sam: geez.
-peter: you okay? -sam: yeah.
Peter: it looks like everyone's a klutz today.
Sam: [ laughs ] yeah. Thank you.
That's very...sweet of you.
Peter: wow, these are some amazing doodles.
Sam: oh. well, they're sketches, but thanks.
I want to be a fashion designer,
so these are for the senior project.
Peter: oh, fashion is your topic?
Sam: it is.
How we communicate, in an eco-friendly manner,
through what we wear.
I wrote my design school essay on that topic, as well.
Peter: so, ms. ghetty's a fan of that senior project, huh?
Sam: yeah, she makes it seem like the be-all, end-all,
but it really doesn't matter that much.
Peter: [ sighs ]
it's just that I'm really looking forward to usc.
It may mean staying in one place more than six months.
Sam: moving sucks.
Peter: yeah, it does.
Sam: hey, do you want me to walk you home?
Peter: uh, thanks, but i-i need to stop at the store.
Sam: uh-huh. You sure about that?
'cause, you know, I could protect you.
Peter: from what?
Sam: kennedy high's resident stalker.
[ both laugh ]
andy: yo, listen, man, I am, like, the authority
of everyone and everything at kennedy.
Peter: that's because you stalk people.
Andy: man. all right, I'm serious, all right?
Listen, listen. Okay, check this out.
You know sylvester stallone's ex-wife lives here -- alone?
Did you know that?
Oh, okay, stop. This house right here?
Man, when you're walking home, make sure you be careful, man.
I'm telling you.
The people that moved into that house, ooh.
These people are russian mobsters.
They're just slinging guns and drugs.
You -- whew.
Peter: that's where I live.
Mom, I'm home.
[ doorbell buzzing ]
[ sighs ]
[ beep ]
[ sighs ] damn.
[ beep ]
[ gate buzzes ]
mom? You in here?
Andy: this is your room?
Peter: uh, no, this is just the video game chamber.
Andy: just for video games?
Bro, so that means your room is what?
What, twice this big?
Oh, you got to let me see it!
Peter: uh, what's your favorite video game?
Andy: oh, man, I don't really --
I don't really have a favorite video game.
I'm not really much of a gamer, you know?
But you got to let me tour that room!
Oh. oh, no.
Is this a super nintendo?
Peter: yeah.
Andy: oh, my god! I swear, I love nintendo.
Like, that's my favorite game s--
I was gonna get "nintendo" tattooed on me.
Oh, my goodness!
[ dogs barking ]
andy: you just said, "let's play," and now you're about to lose,
and you're getting all emotional on me.
Peter: all you're doing is blocking and jumping.
-andy: no. -peter: what is that?
Andy: listen, all right?
I wish there was, like, a barrier right here,
like a little glass wall or something.
Ahh!
[ groans ]
oh, my goodness!
Bro, I cannot believe I'm winning this game.
I've never even played this before.
Peter: me, neither.
Andy: what? It's your game.
Peter: i-i just haven't played it in a while.
Andy: yeah, right.
Ah! Yes!
[ grunts ] what?
Whoo, all right!
Tour time. Let's go to the kitchen.
Peter: um...um...
Andy: [ chewing ] mm. come to me.
Mm.
Peter: please, put those back.
Andy: bro.
Oh, my goodness.
This ice cream is on a whole nother level, man.
I swear, I have never had pâté ice cream before, ever.
Who knew they had lynch's lobster ice cream?
Oh, no, no, no.
Hey, that is -- that is not a way to treat a guest.
Peter: look, if you want ice cream,
let's go to the market, and I'll get you a cart full.
Andy: man, I don't under-- I don't understand, all right?
-i thought this was your house. -eva: next week for --
hold on, I'll have to call you back.
-peter: it -- -eva: okay, sounds good.
Andy: uh, hello, mrs. hammer. I'm andy.
Eva: nice to meet you.
Um...
Andy: sorry.
Eva: I thought we had an agreement, no friends over.
It's fine today,
but he's coming back next week, so don't make it a habit.
And guys, let's clean up whatever's gone on here.
Andy: yo, uh...
You want to tell me what just happened?
Peter: [ sighs ]
all right, look, here's the deal.
Please, don't tell anybody,
but this isn't my house.
My mom is the new live-in maid,
and she works for this billionaire,
so we get to stay here for free.
Andy: so, like, where's this billionaire at now?
Peter: he's probably somewhere in the south of france
on his super yacht.
Andy: look, man, your secret is safe with me, all right?
But by my calculations, that gives us
more than enough time to eat this ice cream
and replace it before he gets back.
[ laughs ]
but, hey, you know this, like,
makes us best friends now, right?
All right?
So, I'm gonna need you to put it there, right there.
Come on. Don't leave me hanging.
It'll turn into a punch after a long time.
Come on. Don't leave me hanging.
[ laughing ] there it is. All right, man.
Grab a spoon, bro, and I'll share
this billion-dollar ice cream with you.
[ laughs ]
natalia: andy.
Andy: [ chuckles ] yeah?
Natalia: I heard his dad is a gangster.
Andy: a gangster? Like tony montana?
Natalia: so what's he like?
Is he, like, an average dad?
Or is he a hot gangster-nerd dad?
Peter: who's a hot gangster-nerd dad?
Natalia: there you are.
Andy: yeah, she was asking me if your dad wa--
oh, my god!
Natalia: I know you've been having a hard time adjusting,
so I got you something.
My dad wanted the one with the stripes,
so this one was left over.
Peter: wow, snakeskin.
Natalia: how did you know that?
Peter: I guess it's just a hobby of mine.
Natalia: oh, andy,
be a doll and give us a little bit of privacy.
Andy: privacy? Oh, no, I do apologize.
I can't do that, you know, priv--
this is my bro right here. There's no privacy between us.
Natalia: okay, the vending machine is spitting out free snacks.
Andy: I'll be back. All right, all right.
You're stronger than you look.
Natalia: thanks.
Sam: did you just get voted off the island?
Andy: are you jealous?
Please.
I thought the ice queen was saving herself
for an imaginary reunion with spencer.
Andy: spencer?
Yo, this dude has got balls.
Like, I mean, his dad is running for public office,
and he decides to come out now?
[ chuckles ] yo, that couldn't be me.
And then this guy over here, man.
You know he has a home theater with video games?
Like, every single video game that you could even imagine.
And then he took me to the kitchen?
Girl, the kitchen got so much --
sam: you ramble a lot.
Natalia: like, I can't believe your dog is named alexander wang.
That's f'ing brills.
Do you think it's brills, peter?
Hello? Earth to peter.
Peter: yes, very f'ing brill.
Natalia: sorry.
I'm probably boring you with all my fashion talk.
Peter: um, why did you send andy away?
Natalia: it's like in science, okay?
Hot, cool animals hang out with other hot, cool animals.
Swans don't hang out with bears
because bears are annoying and ugly.
Peter: that's probably because they'd be eaten almost immediately.
Natalia: exactly. Do you want andy to eat you?
The point is that you are a hot nerd,
and I want you to hang out with us --
because you're hot!
Spencer: [ scoffs ]
peter: um... I'll -- I'll think about it.
Natalia: [ chuckles ] you're always thinking.
Andy: [ crunching ]
hey!
Are you in the spirit realm...
Or are you in the earthy realm?
Oh, my bad.
Spencer: spirit.
Andy: spirit.
Spencer: I'm lying in shavasana,
the most important pose in yoga, so quiet.
Andy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shavas--
of course, shavasana.
[ chuckles ] all right, well, tell you what.
Let me know when you get back, all right?
Oh! Ah!
I'm so sorry. I didn't --
you got a little chip on your head.
Spencer: please, man. Please? Please?
Andy: you know, I'm just trying to help.
Spencer: come on. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
So, can give me,
like, an e.t.a. Or, like, a rough --
spencer: what do you want, andy?
Andy: so, man, what's your topic for senior project, huh?
Spencer: I still haven't decided.
-stop. -andy: sorry.
Spencer: I still haven't decided.
Andy: so, like, are you jealous of natalia and peter?
-spencer: seriously? -andy: whoa. we're sitting up?
Spencer: what do either of those questions
-even have to do with you, man? -andy: yo, man, listen.
Everyone's been acting so weird since he got here.
Spencer: listen, dude,
the girls are just bored, that's it.
Andy: [ chuckles ]
yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess you're right.
Spencer: okay, now, you ready?
[ inhales deeply ] take a deep breath in.
[ exhales sharply ] let it out.
Andy: [ exhaling ]
spencer: and slowly lie back with your palms facing up, okay?
Andy: palms.
[ bell rings ] ms. ghetty: all right,
let's all break up into small groups
and start declaring topics.
Natalia: peter, can I join your group?
Sam: um, actually, we work better
if we're just keeping the group small.
Natalia: one more person doesn't make it that much bigger.
Sam: it really does, actually. [ chuckles ]
natalia: ahem.
-ms. ghetty: yes, natalia. -natalia: I don't have a group.
Ms. ghetty: uh, why don't you
join mr. hammerstein's group, then?
[ door opens ]
oh, spencer, perfect.
Take a seat.
Spencer: if the universe wills it.
Ms. ghetty: who's first?
Sam: um, well, I will be doing a fashion show
that features eco-friendly, affordable clothing
for the high school student.
Jill: [ clears throat ] natalia,
you forgot to include me in your group like we discussed.
Natalia: yeah, jill, about that.
Peter here is my new fashion assistant,
so you're no longer necessary.
Thank you.
Andy: damn, another one bites the dust.
Ms. ghetty: okay, who's next?
Natalia: I'll go.
I'll be doing a fashion show, as well,
but I'm going to be doing real fashion, high fashion,
not weirdo fashion.
Sam: wow, you really are a demon from hell.
You just flat-out stole my idea.
Natalia: um, excuse you? You didn't invent fashion shows.
You're just afraid of my impeccable taste.
Peter: are they going to fight?
Spencer: yeah. fashion brings out the worst in them.
Sam: I'm afraid of the holes that you're gonna have to cut
in the back of the clothing to make room
for all your demon bitch wings to just pop out.
Ms. ghetty: um, samantha, you can watch your language,
and you can both do fashion shows.
You just have to communicate your ideas clearly.
Who's next? Spencer.
Spencer: well, uh, I am gonna make a cookbook
for my ovo-lacto vegetarian recipes.
Peter: is that a "star trek" thing?
Andy: no, man.
It means he doesn't eat meat,
but he still eats animal products
like, you know, honey, eggs, milk.
Spencer: it's simple, peter -- nothing with a face.
Ms. ghetty: that sounds delightful.
All right, andy, what's yours?
Andy: uh, oh. I am doing a documentary about my friends.
Ms. ghetty: who are your friends?
-peter: we're his friends. -andy: yeah, they're my friends.
Yeah, um [clears throat] i-it's gonna be a reflection
of high school before, you know, reality hits.
Ms. ghetty: good luck with that.
[ camcorder beeps ]
and mr. hammerstein.
Peter: hammer.
Ms. ghetty: well, what is your topic?
Peter: I didn't, uh, think of anything.
Ms. ghetty: you mean you don't have one
after I specifically told you you needed one by today?
Peter: um...
Yeah, i-i have one here somewhere.
Ms. ghetty: oh, did you take these?
Peter: yes.
Ms. ghetty: they're really, really good.
You know, I dabbled in photography myself.
You better do an incredible job. Don't disappoint me.
All right, everybody. No, you cannot do...
Peter: I don't know anything about photography.
Andy: bro, don't worry.
There's great iphone apps for that. you're good.
-peter: I don't have an iphone. -you still got apps.
Ms. ghetty: remember, the senior project
is worth two-thirds of your grade,
so if you don't pass, you don't graduate.
Have a nice day.
Peter: uh, sam.
Look, uh, I may need you to write me a poem
that you can actually read at my funeral.
Sam: what, do you have, like, a fatal illness
like one of those lifetime movies?
Peter: uh, yes, I do.
The, uh, pressure of the senior project
has caused a fatal ulcer.
I may not make it to graduation.
Sam: hm. lucky you.
Peter: oh, come on. I was kidding.
Look, I'm sorry I hung out with her, okay?
She did something nice.
I felt like I had to be nice back to her.
Sam: yeah, I guess you're right.
I'd much rather you not cross over into bitch mode.
Peter: okay.
Look, since we're already walking,
do you want to come over?
Somebody followed me home the other day.
It was kind of scary.
Sam: wait, someone followed you in this neighborhood?
Peter: yeah. he's probably at my fridge right now.
Andy: mm.
[ smacks lips ]
mm.
Sam: breaking and entering for haagen-dazs.
That's just sad, andy.
Andy: yeah, but you haven't tried
this new flavor of lynch's lobster.
Sam: you know what, though? I can't really blame him.
This place is kind of incredible.
Andy: you know, peter doesn't really live --
that, um...
Peter doesn't really live that extravagantly.
It's -- it's normally his father.
[ laughs ] yeah, so, um...
Hey, you guys want to go do some work or something like that?
Peter: [ sighs ]
do you think ms. ghetty really wants us all to fail?
Sam: of course she does.
She's a pathetic troll who hates everybody.
This one time, I saw her spill her frappuccino
all over my college portfolio sketches.
She didn't even say sorry.
She'd do anything to be sure
that I don't go to fashion school.
You're gonna strike that from the record, right, andy?
Andy: oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Strike -- strike that.
Peter: I have to graduate.
I don't know anything about photography.
Sam: okay, well, let's figure this out.
There has to be something interesting
that you can photograph.
Peter: buildings.
Oceans.
Andy: how about...
You photograph your bugs?
[ insects chirping ]
peter: see? I-it's weird.
You guys saw them. Let's go back downstairs.
Sam: no, really, tell me.
Why do you collect bugs?
Peter: okay.
Um...
These aren't just any bugs.
[ sighs ]
they're masters of camouflage.
They can fit in anywhere and disappear when they want to.
Sam: [ chuckles ]
well, I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of gross.
But, uh, I don't know. It's actually kind of cool.
Andy: um...i think you just found your senior project.
[ chuckles ]
spencer: yo, this documentary's for a senior project, right?
Andy: uh [chuckles] yeah. Ms. ghetty said it was cool.
Spencer: ms. ghetty -- I swear to god,
she'll do anything to get in my pants.
Andy: [ laughing ] shut up, man.
Spencer: dude, you don't even realize, bro.
Like, I swear to god, she hasn't been laid
since at least the '94 guns n' roses tour.
-andy: [ laughs ] what? -spencer: I'm not joking.
Yo, you're gonna edit that out, right?
-andy: uh, yeah. -spencer: you better.
Andy: so, uh, what is this concoction?
Spencer: that is vegetarian meatloaf.
Andy: ah, interesting.
Why have you chosen this dish?
Spencer: well, my dad, for some reason, likes meatloaf
and hates the fact that I'm a vegetarian,
so vegetarian meatloaf.
Andy: so, uh, what, do you just do everything to spite your dad?
Andy: no, actually,
but that asshole wants me to go to georgetown
and become some politician or something,
and all I really want to do is go to nepal
and find my spiritual awakening.
Andy: so, uh, what's stopping you?
Spencer: well [laughs] in order to go
on a spiritual awakening, you need cash flow,
and I won't have cash unless I get my trust fund,
and he won't give me my trust fund unless --
andy: I got you.
Spencer: good.
Now, you need to be saged
-because you're experiencing... -andy: no, bro, I'm fine.
Spencer: ...some negative energy.
Andy: you -- you gonna --
spencer: [ chanting ]
andy: you're messing up --
this is my school shirt, bro. What the fuck?
Natalia: so, the name of my new fashion show is --
drum roll, please.
Tiffany: oh, my god. Genius.
I love it.
Natalia: no, I mean, like,
actually do a drum roll for the announcement.
Jennifer: oh. I can't. I just got my nails done.
[ whistle blows ]
natalia: it's called hot nerd.
I named it after my new assistant,
peter hammer, and his dad,
who are both hot nerds.
Jennifer: I'm having trouble picturing this.
Natalia: yeah, okay.
Well, for inspiration, I've compiled photos
of some of the hottest nerds of all time.
Isaac newton.
Albert einstein, yum.
-christopher lloyd. -jill: okay, no!
Christopher lloyd is not a nerd, he is an actor from the '80s!
God, I hate this school!
[ whistle blows ]
jennifer: total psychopath.
Tiffany: she's a little odd.
Jill: [ crying ]
ms. ghetty: jill?
Is it that awful natalia girl?
I've seen the way that she treats you.
You know, they used to bully me in high school.
Boy, did they regret it.
You can outsmart them.
I can show you how.
[ camera shutter clicks ]
peter: uh, geez.
No, h--
mr. butterfly?
[ camera shutter clicks ]
hello?
Hello?
Mr. butterfly?
[ snarling ]
okay, okay.
[ snarling ]
aah! What?
Andy: [ laughs ]
ah, relax. Relax, it's just me.
Man, I just wanted to catch you in your natural habitat.
Peter: what?
Andy: my bad, man.
-i didn't mean to "spook" you. -peter: really?
Because you're running around in the middle of a jungle,
wearing a wookiee suit, making growing noises.
You are bound to spook somebody!
Andy: first off, I wasn't gurgling, all right?
My stomach was growling 'cause I ain't eat my burrito
like I always do this morning.
Anyways, what do you think of this suit, huh? Huh?
You know, my brother used to use this for paintball.
[ laughs ]
peter: quick lesson in boundaries.
Using a military suit,
using tactical strategies, running around the forest
looking like a... Whatever that is --
look, I'm calling the police next time.
Andy: man, if you call the cops on me, they'll never find me.
I'll mask this whole thing in dog shit
so that even if the police were to come here,
they're gonna think they're following a person.
They're gonna end up following some dog that just took a shit.
They'll never find me.
Invisible, bro.
Peter: what is wrong with you?
Andy: I got some great footage of you, bro.
I thought you was about to cry.
Peter: dude, I shit my pants.
Andy: adorable. [ laughs ]
they have macro lenses
and apps that are literally for close photography, man.
I'm telling you, she won't know the difference.
Peter: shut up, wood monster.
Spencer: whoa, man.
Sensing some serious negative energy going on over there.
Let's cut it out, yeah?
Natalia: it's not coming from me.
My energy is always not negative.
Plus, I am so excited about my fashion show.
You guys will never guess what my new title is.
Spencer: hmm, is it hot nerd?
Natalia: [ scoffs ]
spencer, it is really creepy
when you do that weird reading people's minds thing.
Spencer: natalia, we dated for almost a year.
Natalia: yeah, but it doesn't count 'cause now you're gay.
Sam: okay, can we just get this over with, please?
Spencer: yes, great idea, sam.
Um, everyone, we're gonna give
a one-minute summary of our research. go.
Natalia: okay, does anyone have a timer?
Andy: ooh. oh, my goodness, I just remembered.
I have something way better than that.
[ beeps, buzzes ] yeah, that's right.
Spencer: dude, what the hell are you doing with that?
Andy: it's an alarm cock.
I found it next to your grandma's teeth.
Peter: bro, you obviously have an issue with invading people's privacy.
Sam: I'm sorry, what is that?
Andy: an alarm cock.
Okay, so it's, like, to simulate, like, a rooster,
like, crowing to wake you up,
but for, like, the heavy sleepers,
it has this vibrating mode.
Sam: okay, that's disgusting.
Natalia: maybe it belongs to spencer.
-andy: uh-oh. hey, watch out. -spencer: seriously, natalia?
-andy: watch out. ah! -spencer: put that thing away!
Sam: it's okay. You know what?
I think I've gotten everything that I need
from this meeting, so, uh, bye, guys.
Andy: you got something on your shoulder.
Natalia: uh, where is she going?
Andy: what? Uh, I think she wants his rooster.
Natalia: [ chuckles ] not on my watch.
I'm getting my man.
Andy: all right.
Spencer: [ sighs ]
oh!
Andy: oh, my god. I don't know.
It's like this thing has a mind of its own.
Peter: so, how's your senior project coming along?
Sam: so great, in fact,
that staying here with bitch and doofus
is actually a total waste of time.
Hey, um...
Do you want to go to the zoo?
I-it could be really good for your senior project.
-peter: yeah, sure. -natalia: peter.
Are you ready for our shopping trip?
Remember, you promised me.
Peter: that's right, yeah. Fashion assistant.
I forgot.
Natalia: I booked the whole store,
and I don't want to keep anyone waiting.
Sam: of course, you don't.
Have fun.
[ engine turns over ]
[ sighs ]
peter: so they shut down the whole store for you?
Natalia: of course.
I can't shop with other people around.
It's distracting.
Woman: let me know if you need anything, okay?
Natalia: um, this isn't perignon.
What are you trying to feed me?
Woman: yeah, actually,
my manager says I can't serve to underage customers anymore.
I'm so sorry about --
natalia: okay, well, you don't tell your manager,
and I won't tell everyone that your mom got alopecia
when the housing market crashed, and then she filed
for bankruptcy, leaving you guys broke,
so you had to get a job as a sales girl here.
Now, go get me the real stuff.
[ dog yips ]
woman: uh --
natalia: thanks.
Peter: um, that was a bit harsh.
Natalia: she needed a reminder
of where she stands on the food chain.
Okay, ready?
No, no, no. you know what would make this picture better?
[ laughs ] me.
One, two, three.
[ camera shutter clicks ]
peter: don't you think this is all a bit much?
Renting out a whole store and spending all this money?
Natalia: what's the problem?
Do you hate the clothes?
Peter: no, I think it's wasteful.
Natalia: oh?
Today is a special day.
Peter: is it spoiled rich girl day?
Natalia: [ sighs ]
peter: look, i-i'm sorry.
Natalia: no, no, no. No, it's fine.
It is spoiled rich girl day,
and it just happens to be
this spoiled rich girl's 18th birthday.
Peter: nobody remembered?
Natalia: none of my friends from school.
Not psychotic jill, not even my father
who is on a business trip in reno,
which is just code for with his skanky casino mistress,
so jackpot.
I'm here spending his money.
Peter: hey, don't cry.
Natalia: my therapist says that I have ocd or something
or like an addiction problem
or compulsion problem or whatever.
But really, it's just daddy issues.
Peter: could we just finish out the year?
Natalia: see, that's the thing.
Everybody thinks I'm stupid.
I'm not stupid.
Peter: hey, hey.
Nobody thinks you're stupid.
Natalia: sam thinks I'm stupid.
I'm sorry I'm not as talented as her, okay?
Not everybody can be talented all the time.
[ blows nose ]
[ laughs ]
I snotted on a cashmere.
[ both laugh ]
jill: I hope it's what you were looking for.
Ms. ghetty: just this once, you can come over next to me.
Come on.
Jill: really?
Ms. ghetty: and look at them.
-jill: really? -ms. ghetty: yeah, of course.
All right, not -- not too close.
All right. yeah, that's perfect. Great. that's great.
Jill: okay, so this picture -- this is natalia with peter,
and they were at the sen boutique,
and they were trying on clothes.
Ms. ghetty: oh, it seems that they're plagiarizing.
-jill: yes. -ms. ghetty: they can't do th--
-they can't -- -jill: no.
Ms. ghetty: I mean, am I -- am I wro-- am I right?
Jill: no, you're not -- you know, you're not wrong.
Ms. ghetty: no, I'm right.
Jill: okay, so she's trying on clothes.
Ms. ghetty: [ gasps ] oh, this is amazing!
Jill: [ laughs ]
ms. ghetty: well, excellent.
Would you like to, uh, stamp my pad?
Go ahead, just -- just --
yeah, just --
oh, it's good! It feels good.
Do it really hard.
You know, just --
yeah, yeah. That's it, sister.
Jill: it's just like what I imagine drugs to be like.
Ms. ghetty: yes, yeah. Yes, I know.
Spencer: what's up, sam?
Sam: what the hell are you both doing here?
Spencer: well, we're here to do the senior project,
considering we didn't do it at all earlier.
Andy: yo, you guys really sure you want to do this?
Natalia said that eco-friendly is --
sam: can you stop talking about peter for, like, 30 seconds, please?
You can be such a royal hemorrhoid some times.
Spencer: dude, what is up your ass today?
Sam: okay, I just thought maybe he would be over
the whole bitches with money thing, but, no,
he fell into natalia's trap, just like everybody else.
Spencer: natalia is the master seducer,
and she did the exact same thing to me.
Andy: hey, if it means anything,
I think peter digs you way more than natalia.
Sam: yeah, and you know that because you're his, what,
supposed best friend?
Andy: uh, duh. [ chuckles ]
spencer: oh, guys, I think it's me.
Andy: who's hitting you, bro?
Who's that?
Spencer: it says "unknown."
Andy: what is it?
What?
Spencer: I am in a babbling brook.
Andy: why are you in a babbling brook?
Spencer: in a babbling brook.
Andy: yo, what happened?
Spencer: I am a babbling brook.
Andy: yo, y'all are acting like y'all just seen voldemort.
Sam: [ crying ]
andy: [ knocks ]
sam: you know her goal in life is to make me miserable
and get in the way of my happiness.
Andy: yeah, but spencer downstairs
will tell you that happiness...
Comes from the inside.
Sam: [ laughs ]
[ crying ] well, he --
he's read too many self-help books.
[ blows nose ]
oh.
Oh.
I just snotted on a shower curtain.
Thank you.
[ blows nose ]
[ crying ]
andy: listen...
Look, natalia's not out to get you.
Like, you got to understand, she's all about image,
and right now,
she's just going insane because of that crazy debacle
that happened with spencer last month.
I mean, he just broke up with her
for no reason in front of everyone.
She's not over that,
and now she's stuck in the friend zone.
Well, welcome to my world -- the damn friend zone.
Andy: [ laughs ]
hey, uh...
You know...
This whole thing kind of makes us best friends, too.
[ chuckles ]
sam: I'm going to back to work.
You know, I will never understand
how a guy like you was ever the apple of natalia's eye.
Andy: so...
Have you been doing yoga since you broke up with natalia?
Spencer: yep, to the day, actually.
Andy: really?
Spencer: yes, andy.
Downward dog.
[ knuckles cracking ]
andy: ahh.
Ahh.
[ neck cracks ]
[ groans ]
oh, man, that hurt.
Spencer: yo, dawg, that's not right.
Andy: this is right, bro.
This is exactly what you're doing.
A little sexier.
Spencer: straighten out your knees.
Andy: you're gonna break my knee.
Spencer: straighten out your knees.
Andy: stop it.
Spencer: just right here with me. Breathe in.
Andy: hey. Hey, what is this?
[ back cracking ]
-spencer: come up. -andy: [ farts ]
sam: oh, for christ's sake.
Andy: this is -- I don't know if I'm --
-spencer: suck up. -andy: [ farts ]
I'm not sucking -- all right, I'm done with this yoga.
Ms. ghetty: it's come to my attention
that certain students are utilizing professional help
in their projects,
and it states in the senior project handbook
you can't do that.
Hit it, jill.
[ students exclaiming ]
ms. ghetty: all right, the two students
are obviously complicit
in their utilization of professional help,
namely the designers at the sen boutique
and planning to plagiarize their designs.
Natalia: where did you get this picture? Who the hell took this?
You've been spying on me.
You psychopathic troll! Objection!
Jill: overruled, bitch!
-ms. ghetty: language, jill. -jill: I'm sorry.
Natalia: you never said we couldn't use professional help.
Ms. ghetty: uh, it says in the senior project handbook
that you cannot use professional help.
I'm sorry, miss bell. I don't make the rules.
Andy: wait, you wrote the rule book.
Ms. ghetty: andy, do you want to go down two letter grades, as well?
Peter: wait, what? We went down two letter grades!
Ms. ghetty: that's right, mr. hamster,
and your bug project better be amazing.
Class dismissed.
Andy: hey, hey. What's up, buddy?
Peter: not now, andy.
Andy: listen, man.
You're not gonna fail, bro.
That's why you got me, man. Andy's in the house.
I'm here to help you, and look, boom, film you.
Close-up. close-up.
Oh. [ laughs ]
peter: um, yeah. Oh, that's right, your film.
Andy: yeah, come on, man.
[ whistle blows ]
um, um...
Rolling sound!
All right, set dressing. Wardrobe.
Your hair -- hair is -- I mean, it looks good.
All right, here we go. Ready?
And action!
Peter: uh, hey.
My name is peter hammer.
My senior project is on deceptive coloration
for the sake of self-preservation.
While they have brilliant coloring,
nudibranches are famous for their disposable penises
which allow them to have sex more frequently.
Andy: wait, disposable penis? I got to -- I got to see this.
Look at this.
Penis. say it with me. Penis.
Peter: I don't have the penis with me.
Natalia: peter!
Shut that camera off before I shove it down your throat.
Peter: whoa. natalia, relax.
You're gonna pop a blood vessel.
Natalia: did you see that picture?
I looked awful.
Peter: it really wasn't that bad.
Natalia: no, no, it was. It was humiliating.
And you know what the worse part is?
Peter: dropping two letter grades?
Natalia: no. that I already booked
the performing arts center for the show,
so it's happening regardless of her stupid rules.
Why does she have to ruin my life
just because she's bitter about hers?
Peter: what are you talking about?
Natalia: well, legend has it that ms. ghetty had the nerve
to ask out the hottest guy at kennedy.
She weighed like 250 pounds. She was a total shamu.
I checked her yearbook picture.
Oh, no offense, andy.
Andy: oh, it's okay. I'm not a -- I'm not a whale.
I'm a human, it's -- just --
peter: did you guys know that --
that ms. ghetty has these weird pictures
of animals humping each other in her office?
It's really weird.
Andy: oh, breaking news! Oh, my god!
She is into beastiality. I knew it, I knew it.
I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised.
Natalia: okay, andy, the camera.
[ whistle blows ]
sam: is that the flailing monkey?
Spencer: happy baby pose, actually.
Sam: huh. close.
Spencer: so what can I help you with?
[ chuckles ]
sam: I was thinking of throwing, like, a get-together party thing
at my place.
Spencer: really?
The square peg wants to throw a party?
Sam: my parents are out of town till wednesday.
Spencer: so what are you thinking?
Tom cruise, "risky business" style?
Sam: no, I was thinking more of like a senior/truce party.
Spencer: a senior/truce party. Never heard of one.
Sam: it could be a peace offering with natalia.
And I was thinking you and I could co-host it together.
Spencer: I mean...okay.
Little weird, but sure. What do I have to do?
Sam: can you score some booze?
Spencer: oh, yeah, easily.
My dad's got a stockpile in the kitchen.
Sam: really? I thought he was, like,
a conservative politician or something.
Spencer: oh, he is.
Sam: it's not a date or anything weird like that.
It's just two friends co-hosting a party together.
You're gay, right?
Spencer: yes. absolutely.
Sam: okay, sorry about that. Continue.
-spencer: it's all good. -sam: all right.
Spencer: I'll see you at the party.
Sam: find your inner chi or whatever.
Spencer: thank you. namaste.
Sam: spicy tuna roll.
Eva: excuse me.
Jill: hi.
Eva: uh, can I help you?
Jill: hi, hello, yes.
I was just in the neighborhood
collecting signatures from all the residents.
Eva: a signature for what?
Jill: oh, well, we are --
we're trying to recall the mayor.
-eva: really? -jill: yes, yes.
Yes, apparently, he has been groping ladies
-at the senior center. -eva: uh-huh.
Jill: and we need like, pbbt, 20,000 signatures
by the end of the week to get him run out of office.
Is mr. peter hammer available?
Eva: no, I'm sorry. He's not.
Plus, he's not of age to vote or sign anything.
Jill: so maybe just his father then.
Eva: I'm sorry, we're not together anymore,
plus we're not even the homeowners of this property.
Jill: you're not?
Eva: no, my son and I just live here.
I am the housekeeper.
Jill: oh.
Okay.
I have to go get more signatures,
so I will thank you.
And, uh, go, women's rights!
Eva: strange.
Peter: sam.
Come on. Talk to me.
Ms. ghetty: I know it's not right.
I know it's -- I know it's not perfect.
I wanted to say that you look really handsome tonight.
Well, here's to us.
[ smooches ]
[ knock on door ]
jill: ms. ghetty? Ms. ghetty!
[ panting ] I have news.
Ms. ghetty: oh. what --
what is this? What are you -- what -- who are you?
-jill: oh. -ms. ghetty: oh!
-jill: see? -ms. ghetty: jill.
Jill: one, peter hammer is not who he says he is.
He's not a millionaire, but a housekeeper's son.
Ms. ghetty: [ gasps ] oh, that is delicious.
What else do you know?
Jill: there's gonna be a party tonight --
with alcohol.
Ms. ghetty: [ gasps ]
natalia: I have the same fridge.
[ beep ]
hello, mr. fridge.
Female voice: hello, master.
Natalia: [ chuckles ] that is so funny.
See, this is why we get along so well.
We like the same things.
Peter: um, I'm gonna get dressed for the party.
Natalia: okay. First official party together.
[ chuckles ]
♪ 'cause I got to skate ♪
♪ I be showing up late to the class ♪
Uh, hello. I'm andy. [ chuckles ]
uh, today is, uh, may 2nd.
Location -- at samantha's house on breckenridge lane,
and, as you know, graduation is right around the corner,
so everyone's all crazy.
But luckily, we find ourselves today
at an underground raging party.
Mm, mm, mm, mm. mm! [ chuckles ]
so, you know, some couples are hoping to get "lucky,"
but let's just be real.
Half of 'em are gonna leave in heartbreak, in tears,
or else they're not gonna leave at all.
They're gonna wake up here and not know what happened.
Yo! You good, man?
Young man: I'm not gonna graduate!
Andy: man!
This is your third time not graduating
with your failing ass.
All right.
All right, sorry about that. Okay.
[ clears throat ] here we go, follow me.
I will show you how we do it over here.
Let's go.
Hello, ladies.
Can I please get a kiss for andy?
Aw, you love kissing andy. Andy will kiss you back.
Young man: hey, let's play house.
You guys be the door, and I'll slam you.
Huh? Upstairs?
[ laughter ]
all right.
Spencer: you know, you could just pretend that I'm peter.
Sam: what? Why would I have to do that?
I'm so comfortable right now.
Are you not comfortable? Are you uncomfortable?
'cause I'm comfortable. I'm real --
spencer: chill, it's fine. I'm comfortable.
I'm wearing flip-flops. It's all good.
Sam: huh, right.
Spencer: so when are you doing your fashion show?
-sam: uh, I booked the gym. -spencer: mm.
-sam: mm-hmm, yeah. -spencer: that's a good venue.
Sam: yeah, it works. It's luxurious enough.
Andy: oh, and now for the main attraction.
Sam: what are you talking about?
Ah, you guys came together.
Natalia: yeah, couldn't down an invite from spencer and...
You. [ chuckles ]
sam: I figured you'd be too embarrassed to show your faces.
Peter: no, well, you figured wrong.
-sam: apparently. -peter: yeah.
Natalia: why are you not wearing real shoes?
What happened to the pair that I bought you?
Spencer: I donated them to africa.
You remember that, right, natalia?
Natalia: [ sighs ] africa!
[ laughing ] god, I really need punch.
-anyone? Anyone? -spencer: yeah, me, too.
[ both chuckle ]
peter: yeah.
Sam: so you're -- you're actually dating her.
Peter: I am actually dating her, and you're actually dating him?
Sam: actually, I am.
Peter: that's awesome because the last time I checked,
he's actually into guys.
Sam: he plays for both teams, actually.
Peter: fantastic.
Sam: [ chuckles ] amazing.
-peter: great. -sam: amazing.
Young man: watch out, bro.
Andy: oh, man. oh, man.
Isn't that the same dude that shit himself last year?
Spencer: tequila. your favorite.
Natalia: you remembered.
Spencer: of course, natalia.
Natalia: so, you're throwing a party with her.
Spencer: yes, I am. Make you jealous?
Natalia: of what? I thought you turned gay.
Spencer: [ laughs ] you can't turn gay.
Natalia: spencer grace, you better be gay.
Why else did we break up?
Spencer: we broke up because you're a shitty girlfriend.
I mean, let's be honest, natalia.
All you care about are handbags and jimmy choos.
And you know I don't care about shoes.
And don't even get me started on when I try to talk about my dad
'cause you just ignore me like I never even said anything.
Natalia: okay, well, at least you talk to your dad.
My dad didn't remember my birthday,
like he doesn't every year, and you know that,
and you didn't bother to text or call or anything.
You are so self-centered.
You were a shitty boyfriend, too,
with your self-righteous, new-age, mumbo jumbo,
but now I have a new boyfriend, and he is a hot nerd.
Spencer: that's -- that's great for you.
I guess that makes us even.
Andy: hello, face. [ laughs ]
spencer: you're editing that out, right, clown?
Andy: man, you ain't editing nothing.
-sam: fantastic. -peter: excellent.
-sam: stupendous. great. -natalia: peter.
Peter: oh.
Natalia: so, I was thinking
that maybe we should get away tomorrow,
go to the beach or something.
Peter: oh, uh, yeah, t-t-that'd be great,
except I was hoping we'd work on the senior project tomorrow.
Natalia: god, you're so serious all the time.
Don't be such a bore.
Peter: mm, that's great, but, yeah, uh, sure.
Sam: spencer, I am so sorry about this.
It's not personal.
Spencer: okay, what the -- what the hell was that, sam?
Sam: that was me getting really turned on by the music.
Spencer: that was horrible. Why did you just do that?
Sam: no, it wasn't.
I-i did it because I like you so much.
Spencer: that was like kissing my cousin,
and now natalia's mad at me because of you.
Sam: okay, that's great.
Because it all matters about natalia, right?
Why do you even care? You broke up with her.
-spencer: because -- [ sighs ] -sam: because why?
Because you're not actually broken up?
Because you have a --
spencer: because I'm not gay.
Sam: what?!
[ groans ]
andy: oh, my god, shit is getting real.
Spencer just got bitch slapped,
and I knew it was gonna happen, but it's getting real, man.
Follow me. Let's see what else happens.
[ hip-hop music playing ]
[ music fades out ]
ms. ghetty: oh.
Oh.
Oh!
What do we have here?
Evidence of teenage drinking.
Sam: uh, ms. ghetty, i-i-i can explain.
Ms. ghetty: where are your parents?
Sam: out of town on business.
Ms. ghetty: tell them to call me immediately.
The office just got a request from you
to use the gym for your fashion presentation.
But guess what? I'm denying it.
Sam: what?
Ms. ghetty: you're lucky that I don't call the cops right now.
Young man: [ vomiting ]
ms. ghetty: you just went down two letter grades, miss.
Young man: my bad.
Jill: what is this, sam? Are you performing communion?
Sam: exorcism is more like it.
Just -- just don't -- I can't even --
andy: I think there's some shit on your shoes.
Sam: there is shit on my shoes, andy!
Oh! [ groans ]
[ bell ringing ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
sam: of course she does.
She's a pathetic troll who hates everybody.
This one time, I saw her spill her frappuccino
all over my college portfolio sketches.
Andy: [ laughs ]
sam: she didn't even say sorry.
She'd do anything to be sure
that I don't go to fashion school.
You better strike that from the record, andy.
Andy: "you better strike that from the record, andy."
[ scoffs ] I know.
Oh, come on.
[ groans ]
[ humming ]
ms. ghetty: where did you get this footage?
Jill: andy's in my video production class.
He left his hard drive there.
Spencer: I swear to god, she hasn't been laid
since at least the '94 guns n' roses tour.
Andy: [ laughs ]
ms. ghetty: well, that's just not true.
Sam: she's a pathetic troll who hates everybody.
Ms. ghetty: I hate some people.
Andy: this just in -- ghetty is into the beastiality,
[ laughing ] and I have nothing to --
jill: they're all supposed to be meeting at peter's house next.
Ms. ghetty: well, that's where we're going.
Natalia: oh, my god. Is that your car?
Peter: yeah.
I mean, not yet.
My dad said he'd give it to me when I graduate.
Natalia: get the keys!
[ tires squealing ] peter: whoa!
Uh, yeah.
[ both laugh ]
natalia: I feel like I'm in the batmobile.
And I'm your bad batgirl.
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
♪ People try to -- ♪
[ gate buzzes ]
spencer: wow, andy, you know a code.
Good for you. Let's go.
Andy: we're best friends.
Yo, I'm telling you right now, man.
This ice cream, bro, best flavor I've ever had.
Ever, ever, ever.
Spencer: you don't think you're exaggerating just a little bit?
Just a little bit?
Andy: no, no, I'm not exaggerating a little bit.
Spencer: yo, if you keep eating that much ice cream,
you're gonna have cardiac arrest
before we even finish our projects.
Andy: all right, who has cardiac arrest nowadays?
All right, listen, okay?
Like, in life, certain people need,
you know, certain things to get them through certain things.
It's, like, all those different yoga poses
that gets you through the day.
See, me? Me, on the other hand...
Mm!
What you know about these 32 flavors?
Ooh!
One, you're about to try this one right now.
Look at that. Look at that.
[ ringing ] let it simmer.
Let it soak. Let it just melt.
Just -- just savor it. Put it back in there.
Just -- there you go. You got to -- [ growls ]
-spencer: you try one. -andy: no, I don't want it.
Unh-unh. it already hit your -- hit your --
mnh-mnh. That's all you.
Natalia: this is so romantic.
Peter: i-i need to get back home to my bugs.
I think I accidentally left them out in the sun,
and I don't want them to be shriveled up raisinets
by the time I get back.
Natalia: [ laughs ]
you're so tense. Just relax, okay?
[ horn honks, tires squeal ]
peter: [ chuckles ]
i-i am relaxed. Sorry about that.
[ dialing ]
andy: you love it. I see you --
[ cellphone dings ]
peter: oh, shit. We need to get back.
Natalia: what?
Sam: where the heck is he?
Spencer: with her. Where else?
Sam: you know, he's the one who's always freaking out
about this project.
Now he can't keep his bratwurst in his pants.
Andy: yo, man, your neck is red, bro.
-spencer: yeah? -andy: yes.
Spencer: do you think it's the tofu marsala?
Andy: definitely.
Jill: so what's, like, your deepest fear?
Ms. ghetty: I don't think that's an appropriate question.
Jill: mine's manatees.
Peter: oh, no.
Ms. ghetty: we have action.
Natalia: w-what is going on? W-where are you going?
Sam: oh, well, thank you for gracing us
with your presence, your majesty!
Peter: what are you guys doing here?
Spencer: the senior project, dude.
Peter: what is wrong with your face?
Spencer: is it still messed up?
Sam: what is going on?
Spencer: what's wrong with you, man?
-is he crawling? -sam: why are you crawling?
Peter: guys, please pack up right now.
I-i'll explain later. Just pack up, pl--
-spencer: did you drop a tab? -sam: what are you doing?
Natalia: what are you doing here?
Sam: oh, I could ask you the same question.
Peter: guys, you have to get out now.
Sam: are you serous?
Peter: yes, I'm serious. I'll explain everything.
Sam: okay, you want a quickie with your new girlfriend?
Fine, I get it. Go right ahead.
Peter: no, no, no, no. Not that way. this way.
Sam: are you kidding me? Really?
Right now, are you serious?
-peter: I'm serious, let's go! -spencer: what is going on?
Peter: come on. Down the hall, down the hall!
Jill: that must be schneidelberg.
Ms. ghetty: jackpot. let's roll.
-natalia: peter. -peter: you guys, come on!
Go, go, go, go, go! Go, go, go! Go, go, go!
Go, go!
Victor: hello? Anyone home?
Eva?
Eva, my luggage is in the car!
Spencer: where are we --
peter: right here, right here.
Sam: oh!
Peter: just -- just go.
-natalia. -natalia: I am not doing that.
Peter: spencer, come on, let's go!
Andy, you're up.
Andy: um, all right.
Peter: you're up.
Andy: ahh!
Ow. Help me, help me.
Eva: hello. Uh, can I help you?
Ms. ghetty: you must be peter's mom.
Jill: she is.
-andy: oh, my god! -peter: andy!
Eva: oh, excuse me.
Oh, my god, peter?
Peter: uh, it's not what it looks like.
Andy: oh, god. I think I broke my spleen.
Eva: what is going on here?
Peter: uh, i-i can explain.
Ms. ghetty: what would you like to explain?
About how you all talk about me
behind my back like venomous tarantulas?
Jill showed me the footage.
Andy: hey, that was my hard drive.
Ms. ghetty: or would you rather explain to all your friends here
about your living arrangement on this property?
About how you've been lying about who you are
this entire time.
Sam: peter, what is she talking about?
Ms. ghetty: tell them.
Andy: don't tell them shit, bro.
[ groans ]
peter: my mom's a live-in housekeeper here.
We get to live in the maid's quarters.
This house belongs to victor von schneidelberg.
Natalia: who the hell is victor von whatever?
Victor: I am victor von schneidelberg.
Why is my lamborghini out in the driveway?
Who -- who are all these people?
Natalia: so this isn't your house.
Peter: I swear I was going to tell you.
Spencer: [ gasping ]
spencer: spencer?
Victor: is he on drugs?
-natalia: spencer! -andy: yo, call 911.
-he can't breathe. -natalia: spencer.
Andy: let's get him to the hospital.
Dr kaplan: spencer grace's father?
Henry: yes, what happened?
Dr. kaplan: I'm dr. kaplan. Your son had an attack,
a severe case of allergic angioedema.
Eva: what does that mean?
Dr. kaplan: he's allergic to shellfish.
Andy: oh, my god.
I gave him lynch's lobster ice cream.
Sam: that's okay, andy. You didn't know.
Dr. kaplan: we will have to keep him overnight
in the hospital to monitor his vitals,
and he should be able to go in the morning.
Henry: can I see him?
Dr. kaplan: yes, sure. Right this way.
The adult onset is usually the first time we have...
Peter: are we gonna have to move again, mom?
Eva: I don't know.
I don't know what he's gonna say.
Meet you back in the car.
Sam: so where were you two?
Peter: we were headed to the beach.
Natalia: in your fake car.
God, you make me sick. I need to get some air.
Peter: natalia.
Natalia: I told you things about me
nobody else knows.
And you lied to me.
We thought we could trust you.
Un-freaking-believable.
Peter: [ sobs ]
peter: sam.
[ crying ]
andy: if you're just gonna throw me out like that, like...
At least just pick a window I can fit through, all right?
Peter: I'm sorry, andy. I wasn't thinking.
I-i panicked.
Andy: [ sighs ] it's all good, bro.
It's -- it's crazy what food can do to your body, right?
It's just...
I got to cut it out with all the chips and ice cream
and all this junk food, man.
Peter: maybe you should try spencer's lactose stuff
when he gets better.
Andy: [ chuckles ] oh, yeah, for sure I will.
Yeah, definitely try that.
Hey, how funny would it be
if -- if he was in there right now on the bed,
just in -- in the "shavusavakava" pose.
Peter: [ laughs ] it's shavasana.
Andy: what do you think the doctors would tell him?
Peter: [ laughs ] it's shavasana.
Andy: "shavakasavanasa."
-peter: say it right. -andy: I said that.
Eva: your lie almost lost us this opportunity.
But he said we can stay.
Peter: I didn't want to lie.
Eva: then why did you?
Peter: the senior project is killing me.
Eva: you'll find a way to make up those missing points.
That scholarship is not running away.
You worked too hard for that.
Peter: mom.
You know, all this time, I never made an effort
to get to know anybody or make new friends.
I messed it up.
They hate me.
They probably won't graduate because of me.
Eva: I know it's hard to see
the light at the end of the tunnel,
but it's there if you keep looking.
Just don't make an anthill out of a molehill.
Peter: wait, don't you mean
don't turn a molehill into a mountain?
Eva: you know what I mean.
Put these away.
Peter: [ knocks ]
ms. ghetty: look who it is, mr. von schneidelberg iii.
Peter: I'm really sorry we said those things.
I know you don't have it in your heart to fail us.
Ms. ghetty: you don't know me at all.
Peter: I do.
You were just like us at one point in your life.
You wanted to belong.
Ms. ghetty: you said what you came to say.
Peter: actually, I have something else.
Natalie: [ scoffs ]
peter: look, I know you both hate me.
Just hear me out.
Look, there's a way we can still pass the senior project.
Natalia: we don't have enough time. It's due tomorrow.
Peter: I worked out a deal with her.
Sam: what are you suggesting?
Peter: that you combine fashion shows.
-natalia: absolutely not. -sam: no.
Peter: look, I know you guys hate each other,
but you've both said things that the other should hear.
-sam: like what? -natalia: like what?
Peter: well, like my first day here,
sam said that natalia looked perfect and pretty all the time.
Natalia: you think I'm pretty?
Sam: maybe I said a version of that.
Peter: and when we were in sen,
you said that sam was incredibly talented.
Natalia: okay, what happens in sen stays in sen.
Peter: either you guys work together,
or you spend another year in kennedy.
Sam: I think you got the necklace happening,
and we're fine. Don't overpower.
Natalia: you have to finish this. This is the top priority.
Andy: listen, man. You're not gonna fail, bro.
Natalia: I kind of can't stop thinking about spencer.
Peter: I have to graduate.
Andy: y'all will see it.
Sam: he didn't even know.
Don't beat yourself up about that.
He had literally -- his dad didn't know.
Peter: I came to apologize, man.
Eva: it's really nice of you, peter, making spencer's new recipe.
Spencer: you're my brother, man.
Peter: give this a try.
How does it taste?
Eva: that's pretty good.
Peter: now we have to make 100 more of these.
Natalia: it is so much easier to accessorize prada
over this eco stuff.
Sam: you're gonna have to stop complaining.
-the show's tomorrow. -natalia: tomorrow, wow.
Sam: it is tomorrow.
That is why I said the words "tomorrow."
Natalia: you're making me laugh. That's weird.
Sam: have you gone to see him yet?
Natalia: no, not yet.
Peter: please do not try this
if you have any food allergies whatsoever. thank you.
Mr. grace, I thought spencer was in the hospital.
Henry: he sent me here to check up on his senior project.
Peter: oh, please, by all means, try his recipe.
Henry: thank you. This looks delicious.
Peter: andy, you ready?
Andy: what? Bro, I was born ready.
Peter: please, enjoy the food.
I have to go check up on some things.
Enjoy.
Henry: thank you.
Andy: [ clears throat ] ladies and gentlemen,
I would, uh, like to welcome you to the newest, um, brainchild
of samantha willow and natalia bell.
[ chuckles ]
sam: [ hyperventilating ]
peter: are you okay?
Sam: i-i-i'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Andy: as you know,
our eyes can sometimes play tricks on us,
but if you're smart,
you will always see the true colors.
Natalia: she's gonna be okay.
So...friends?
Peter: friends.
Go get ready.
Natalia: oh, okay.
Andy: and today, we are here to celebrate
the differences between us all.
[ chuckles ]
okay.
But ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
Deception!
[ cheers and applause ] here comes peter.
Look at him, the hottest hot nerd
to ever grace hot nerdom.
We're all nerdy tadpoles about to have an incredible makeover.
Uh-oh, hot nerds.
Whew! Hot nerds get all the hot girls.
You feel me?
So confused, we made ourselves think.
Natalia! Show 'em how to do it, baby.
Now, sometimes we didn't get along.
Take that, nerd. [ laughs ]
but sometimes, we party hard.
Ooh!
Show 'em how to do it, baby. That's right.
Yes. This is my favorite job.
Everything you see was designed by sam and natalia, fyi.
Now, as we leave the high school nest,
we realize that innocent kids can be dangerous.
Yes, work it.
There's just so many great-looking people on stage.
[ cheers and applause ]
whoo, she'll show you how to do it.
Look at that, a dress inspired by a reptile.
We have transformed like all animals in nature.
Camouflage was our best weapon,
but now, we have turned a new leaf.
Look at her, sizzling like a snake.
We have shed our past,
and we will try our luck for a better tomorrow.
Oh, look at the lady bug.
Peter, you're the man. Everyone give it up for peter.
If you're not clapping, get out.
[ cheers and applause ]
embrace life's thorny side.
Especially if you trip up.
And now, give it up for our beautiful ms. ghetty!
[ cheers and applause ]
she's killing it. Work it, ghetty, work it.
Yes. oh, man.
Be who you are. There's no need to deceive.
Be the magnificent, beautiful --
[ cheers and applause ]
you all look amazing.
Oh, I thank everyone for coming out.
You ain't got to go home. Get your ass out of here.
Ms. ghetty: I guess you could call this a huge success
and a "pass" on all your projects.
Congratulations. You're graduating.
Peter: we did it.
Sam: we did it!
Natalia: thank you so much.
Andy: all my best friends are on stage.
I want to get on stage with you guys.
[ cheers and applause ]
jill: great show, andy.
Andy: whoa.
That's really weird. [ chuckles ]
that's like the first whole sentence
that you've, like, ever said to me in life.
How awkward is that?
Jill: I used to hang out with natalia.
You know, now they just call me a psychopath?
Andy: psychopath?
That's crazy 'cause my friends call me a creeper.
[ both laugh ]
jill: we're, like, the same.
Andy: psychopath and creeper.
You know, but I didn't like -- I didn't like the fact that you,
you know, stole my hard drive,
and then you gave it to ms. ghetty.
Jill: no, I know. Look, I'm really --
do you maybe, um...
Do you maybe want to go -- go to a movie with me?
Andy: we can go to a movie.
-jill: really? -andy: yeah.
Jill: do you want to see, like, a slasher movie
where they cut people's throats?
-andy: yeah, let's go. -jill: okay.
Oh, that's why they call you a psychopath?
Oh, psychopath in the building. Uh-oh.
Jill: [ laughs ] I'll bring my knife collection.
Andy: oh, shit!
Natalia: I got you something.
Spencer: you did? [ laughs ]
natalia: yeah.
Spencer: okay.
Natalia: okay. It's for when you're better.
Ta-da!
Spencer: wow.
[ laughs ]
these are actually amazing.
Natalia: I know that you don't usually like material things,
but I thought you might like these.
Spencer: hey.
I'm so sorry about how everything happened.
And tomorrow at school,
I promise I'm gonna tell everyone that I was faking it.
You know, and patch things up with my dad, as well.
[ laughs ]
he's gonna let me go to india for a whole year.
Natalia: india.
Spencer: you could always come.
Natalia: only if you promise to wear shoes.
Spencer: done and done.
Natalia: [ laughs ]
sam: you know,
now that we've all officially are about to graduate,
I think I might actually miss you a little bit.
Peter: who knows? Maybe we'll end up together.
Sam: yeah, I don't see that happening 'cause I don't date hot nerds.
I mean, if only you had some sort of creepy bug collection,
then I'd be into it.
-natalia: hi. -spencer: what's up, man?
Sam: hi.
Peter: I guess this is it. Off to the real world.
Natalia: I know. It's depressing, isn't it?
Spencer: I mean, come on.
We still got the summer together, right?
Andy: yo, yo, yo, check this out.
I just finished editing the video.
-y'all ready to see? -natalia: oh, yeah.
Andy: ready? Are you ready?
Check this out.
Peter: [ laughs ] oh, god!
[ laughter ]
andy: amazing.
Sam: I know. It's like, we did that.
We did that.
[ laughter ]
[ bell rings ]
andy: oh. let's go.
Come on. let's go.
♪ See the light again ♪
Man: marker!
Natalia: you are so self-centered!
You were a shitty boyfriend, too, okay?
When --
[bleep] I am so sorry, everyone.
Jill: you know, mine is death, but it's death by gummy bears
'cause I always thought, if you were gonna kill someone,
you would replace, like, those chewable gummy bear vitamins
with actual gummy bears.
Andy: I literally picked up dog shit from two neighborhoods over!
Dog shit colors they ain't never even seen.
Green dog shit, brown dog shit, tan dog shit, red dog shit.
I don't even know where that's at,
but it's covering me right now.
You know how that is. They'll never find me.
I'm a ghost. I'm a shitty ghost.
[ laughter ]
♪ Come party, come party with me, girl ♪
♪ Bring a friend, better yet, make it three, girl ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, so, baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, night ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ My girl want to see me, so she told me she's alone ♪
♪ She got something to tell me but can't say it on the phone ♪
♪ I think she knows exactly what to do ♪
♪ And what to say ♪
♪ When I kiss her all my problems go away ♪
♪ Ooh, baby, we going to party, baby ♪
♪ I hope that you're ready ♪
♪ Grew up on the tv, now we dominate the radio ♪
♪ That's right, the radio ♪
♪ Over and over ♪
♪ Man, I live one hell of a life ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Come party, come party with me, girl ♪
♪ Bring a friend better yet, make it three, girl ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, night ♪
♪ So, baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, night ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me you love me ♪
♪ When we're on the dance floor ♪
♪ Tell me you love me ♪
♪ When we're on the dance floor ♪
♪ Tell me you love me ♪
♪ Ooh, girl, I love you ♪
♪ Tell me you love me, baby ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Come party, come party with me, girl ♪
♪ Bring a friend, better yet, make it three, girl ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, night ♪
♪ So, baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Tell me, do you want to dance? ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪
♪ Baby, this your world, and you got it, girl ♪
♪ This should be a crazy night, night ♪
♪ Baby, dance for me ♪